I’m still in my political writing writer’s block funk, so I’m still watching a lot of television, when I’m not moping around.
I really need to move past this period, otherwise my brain will start to melt down. It’s not just that I’m watching too much bad television, it’s that I can’t understand what has happened to shows that were once pretty good and that are now pretty horrible.
So horrible that I don’t want to spend too much time writing about them. So let’s make it quick. Here are 10 things I currently can’t stand about Scandal:
1. Fitz: Is Olivia the love of his life or is it Mellie? Why is he so jealous about Mellie’s affair? He should figure it out soon, because his constipation face is getting really old. Apropos of constipation he needs to “S–t or get off the pot.”
2. Mellie: How credible is it that Mellie would slap Fitz in front of a group of people in the Oval Office? The Mellie who has done everything (including keeping quiet about being raped by Fitz’s father) so that Fitz would become president, and accepting Olivia back in the White House would never do something like that. Oh, and someone needs to do something about that hair, including not having her prance around in gigantic rollers. Not only is it 2014, the First Lady should be able to hire a hair stylist.
3. Quinn: I still do not buy that she’s a cold-blooded, hard-core torturer. Bad casting or bad acting, or both.
4. Quinn and Huck: I normally have nothing against licking, but I really wish that they would stop licking each other. It’s gross, possibly due to the fact that they have ZERO chemistry.
5. Papa Pope: He needs to stop ranting. The speech that he gave Olivia in the airplane hangar was good enough to fill this season’s quota. I love this actor, but I’m getting tired of seeing his throat veins popping out.
6. Mama Pope: How come she’s roaming around free as a bird? What kind of government agency would leave a high-level terrorist who has already downed a plane on the loose? Is Jake waiting for the bomb to actually go off before he picks her up?
7. Jake: So this badass who knows that Olivia wants to destroy B13 not only leaves his phone lying on the night table, but also doesn’t think to bug her office or put a tail on Papa Pope. What kind of a B13 head is he? A more competent one would still have his computers running.
8. Gladiators: If someone says “gladiator” one more time, I’m going to puke all over the tv. The use of this word was already ridiculous when the show was good. Now that the show is ridiculous, it’s laughable.
9. Missing cases: Scandal used to work because there was the Olivia Pope once-a-week successful crisis management and the long-thread relationship storyline between Olivia and Fitz. Now we just have one big mess (B13) that keeps getting messier.
10. Wasted Potential: Scandal used to be one of my favorite shows on TV. It was different. It wasn’t about doctors, or lawyers, or high-tech crime scene investigations. It had a kick-ass, black female lead. It had action, drama, romance, and politics all rolled into one. Plus, that camera-shutter noise that I love for some reason.
What happened? Especially when considering how well season 3 started off. I have no idea, and nothing else to say, except that it’s scandalous to see how Scandal has turned so scandalously stupid.