I’m sure that you’ve already heard of LiquiGlide. According to many a blog, this is the invention that you’ve been waiting for your entire life.
It seems that the days of ketchup bottle torture will soon be over: 1. Your own, as you will no longer have to wait (at all) for the damn ketchup to come out. 2. The ketchup bottle’s (for those who believe in animism) since you won’t have to furiously tap the bottom of the glass ketchup bottle or stick a knife inside it.
Actually in my house, those days are long gone—the minute that plastic ketchup bottles came out on the market. Why wait when you can squeeze? Please.
It seems that now someone has extended the logic to: why squeeze when it can glide? Everybody is excited about LiquiGlide. Everybody but me. This is quite surprising. If 15 years ago, someone had told me that one day ketchup would slide easily from a bottle, I would have been ecstatic. But now, all I can think of is all the reasons why supersonic ketchup delivery is not such a good idea. I guess this is what parenthood does to people.
For starters, what do you think will happen when ketchup comes out quickly and effortlessly? In other words, do kids really need more ketchup than the huge gobs that they already put on their food?
Secondly, “what’s wrong with waiting for something in our lives?” Why does everything have to be “NOW”? When, I was little and I used to complain about the ketchup coming out too slowly my mom used to tell me, “Good things come to those who wait.” Now, I’m with George Benson when he sings, “Good things might come to those who wait, but not for those who wait too late….” That’s why, in my house, we buy the plastic ketchup bottles!
Thirdly, does this LiquiGlide mean that there will be a higher demand for glass ketchup bottles? I hope not. After all, according to Wisegeek.com glass takes more energy to recycle than plastic.
My last thought on this is that I hope that ketchup manufacturers will not stop the plastic bottles. This would mean the end of ketchup bottle farts—a source of laughter and mealtime conversation— for millions of families. I can predict that children would not take this news lightly, starting with my own.